"As a lily among thorns, so is my beloved among women."
- Songs 2:2
I have walked through fields, traveled through thickets full with briers which pull at my clothing and hold to my feet. I tire of pulling at them and ridding the itch from my skin, so they are left. Left to shred and prod at my sides, to bear witness to my weariness, and to show that my travels have been long. Then I notice from afar, soft grasses with a lily pure white with fresh pinks dazzling in the sun. Why have I found this here? My spurs and thorns could tear its gentle petals! I must rid myself of these clinging remains, and leave them far from the lily's precious sight, never again to fall victim, only to enjoy my respite.
10 March 2012
07 March 2012
Whoa!
This has nothing to do with you, it's me...
But it really always has been. I finally realized that all my previous relationships were...lacking, messed up, stupid, or weird, simply because I was all of these things, plus the biggest factor of all: I was not in love with my Creator above any of these girls. I can say with certainty that I am now in love with God more than anything else. It has been a long road to get here, but the journey has prepared me for many trials and tribulations plus the ones I am sure will come. I haven't been the worst, but I haven't been myself either. If I had done everything a godly man is supposed to do, I would have no regrets. As it is, I have them, but I am not grief-stricken because of them, nor do I feel guilty. God has forgiven me along with others, but I have also forgiven myself after a very long time of being dumb anyway. It is as C.S. Lewis said, "It (being in love) helps to make us generous and courageous, it opens our eyes not only to the beauty of the beloved but to all beauty... You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling." This is pure genius people! How on Earth can we go on feeling the same way always? The only thing we can base a life on is something/someone who is Almighty. I'm talking about God here (the Trinity). What gives me the strength to overcome petty desires and my short-comings as well as those of others? My love of God. Loving God unreservedly really and truly gives so much confidence and peace and power. Try it out. It won't disappoint.
But it really always has been. I finally realized that all my previous relationships were...lacking, messed up, stupid, or weird, simply because I was all of these things, plus the biggest factor of all: I was not in love with my Creator above any of these girls. I can say with certainty that I am now in love with God more than anything else. It has been a long road to get here, but the journey has prepared me for many trials and tribulations plus the ones I am sure will come. I haven't been the worst, but I haven't been myself either. If I had done everything a godly man is supposed to do, I would have no regrets. As it is, I have them, but I am not grief-stricken because of them, nor do I feel guilty. God has forgiven me along with others, but I have also forgiven myself after a very long time of being dumb anyway. It is as C.S. Lewis said, "It (being in love) helps to make us generous and courageous, it opens our eyes not only to the beauty of the beloved but to all beauty... You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling." This is pure genius people! How on Earth can we go on feeling the same way always? The only thing we can base a life on is something/someone who is Almighty. I'm talking about God here (the Trinity). What gives me the strength to overcome petty desires and my short-comings as well as those of others? My love of God. Loving God unreservedly really and truly gives so much confidence and peace and power. Try it out. It won't disappoint.
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